Return of the Ninja Warriors From Hell VIII: Sword of Baloq (1985)

Directed by  Bruce Lambert  Writing credits  Emmett Alston

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MPAA: Rated R for strong bloody violence, language and some sexual content.
Runtime: 79 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Mono

User Comments:

Darth_Sauron69
Chicago, USA

Date: 11, February 2004
Summary: Greatest disappointment in my life. 

Unlike other Ninja franchises like "Ninjas form Outer Space", or "Revenge of the Vampyre Ninja Lesbians Of Hell" the "RotNWFH" was actually good. It featured a group of old-timers from the infamous Ninja Wars, who were banished to Hell for betraying their Master. The first seven movies were a grander work divided into seven bits. Sure they had crappy acting, and lousy sets. And the story was basically the same (hint: a bunch of guys returning from hell). But in eyes of the selected few, these movies were a work of art. Unlike "Vampyre Ninja Lesbians" movies who were made from the start as a money making machine without soul, "RotNWFH" had soul, and spirit, and all those other magickal things that make a movie into a religion. From the director's decision to film every movie completely drunk, and the cast' complete disregard for the script, "RotNWFH" saga was destined to reach the stars. The first movie made 27 dollars and 67 cents in the box-office, which is still a large sum for this kind of movies (since most of them never reach the theaters).
But eventually things had to go wrong. After seven equally successful movies, the money-grabbing machine called Loan shark, forced the filmmakers into two more movies. "Return of the Ninja Warriors From Hell VIII: Sword of Baloq" and "Return of the Ninja Warriors From Hell IX: Kandagar's Song".
These… "movies" were arguably even worse then the "Vampyre Ninja Lesbians" series.
There is no way how to start describing the sheer badness of these to movies. From the total ignoring of the previous films, and not holding to the standards of quality they have set, we (the audience) were forced to watch a carnival of re-used footage and even more crappier plot holes.
And for example take this Glenn Knickerbocker guy. He plays a freakin' sword!!! And plays it badly!!!
After watching this horrendous piece of shit, I went home and burnt all of my "RotNWFH" action figures, comics... err, I mean graphic novels, and posters.  

So my final judgement is: Diz Moovee Succz Azcz!!!

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